Running on Empty

This past week has just been non-stop. The drive back from LA was pretty pleasant since Lukas slept most of the way. We met up with Edwin's mom for dinner in SF for her birthday and then picked up my mom from Oakland airport since she and her luggage couldn't fit in the car with us, Lukas, and all his baby gear on the drive back from LA. Lukas enjoyed his time with his grandmothers.

Lukas surprised me this week. He has never really liked getting ready for bed. The books say that you should have a bedtime routine for kids because it's supposed to make it easier for them to know what to expect. However, in Lukas's case, he recognizes his bedtime routine and doesn't like it. He wants to stay awake like everyone else. I can't say I blame him. Anyway, this week while I was getting his PJ's on, his PoPo decided to try and console him by carrying him to the back door to look outside. I usually just let him cry for a bit until I'm done changing him. Anyway, I reach for him to feed him and he looks at me and then deliberately turns away from me back to to PoPo. I couldn't believe it. I birthed this child and at 5 months he is already rejecting me? After recoiling in shock, I reached out for him again and this time he came to me as if to say, "OK- I was only joking." I am amazed at how he even knew he had a choice!

PoPo left on Thursday and she cooked up a storm as usual. I worked from home on Monday while she took care of Lukas. After work, I took them both to Chinatown to shop for groceries for the week. This was a feat for my mom. She very rarely is able to just go to shopping for food once on a trip. It usually takes multiple trips for my mom to get everything she needs. However, I simply didn't have the time to drive her, so I told her that if she didn't get it on this trip, we would have to make do with what we had.

I also had an interviews with several childcare providers after work this week. There was one stay-at-home mom in Alameda that was not a fit. Then, I had an interview with a nanny/stay-at-home mom in SF that lives right around the corner from my office. I really liked her and I hope that things work out with her. This weekend, I also met another nanny share in Alameda that might work. Searching for childcare is time-consuming and frustrating, so I can't wait until it is over. At least I'm starting to feel like I have some options. Both options have pros and cons, but I am hoping that the one in SF works out. I just had great chemistry with that mom/nanny and felt very comfortable leaving Lukas with her.

I also had a job interview myself on Friday. I haven't really been looking, but I have been sending out my resume when requested. Things have been very different since returning to work after my maternity leave. I think that it might be time to look into other options. Friday was very busy even though I didn't work that day. Lukas and I started the day with a stroller walk and then I had to drop him off at daycare so that I could get ready for my interview. I drove into SF and then picked up Lukas. Then, I had to get gas since my fuel light came on. It made me realize that I am running on empty in a lot of areas of my life. Running out of napkins, handsoap, time to find childcare, time to decide what I want to do with my career, time to spend on me.

This weekend was pretty relaxing. Friday night, we went to my old coworker's new apartment in Oakland. We had a good time getting to know her and her boyfriend better. On Saturday, we met up with Steve for lunch at Bakesale Betty's and then I went out with the girls for Girls Night Out. It was a good time with the ladies and we have another scheduled for next month. Having these Girls Nights help me to refuel because there are very few nights I can leave Lukas and have a night of fun. This week, I got 2 opportunities. Since my mom was in town, Edwin and I got the chance to go see a movie in the theatre. We ended up going to see GI Joe. It was entertaining, but nothing special. Being able to hang out with friends and go out with Edwin every once in a while feels good so I don't always have to feel like I'm running on empty.