That is how much Lukas has grown during his lifetime. I wish that I could grow 3.5 inches in 2 months. I don't know that I ever grew that much that fast. He is now 23 inches and 11 lbs. and 13 oz. Check out photos from the last 4 weeks:
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I'm a Horrible Mother!
I don't know of any mom that hasn't felt that way at some point. Being a mom is a tough and thankless job. You don't get paid any money. You have to deal with pee and poop that is not your own all day long. You have a boss that has unpredictable mood swings and is extremely demanding. That's not to say that motherhood doesn't have perks- a feeling that your baby is happy and healthy at the end of the day, that adorable toothless grin, having a dance marathon/karaoke session anytime you want, and nothing beats a hug from baby. It's just that you can never do enough.
I try to plan one activity per day whether it's to go to the pediatrician, go to a class, take Lukas to the park, or run errands. I feel guilty when I am not able to do at least one of those things in a day and I think to myself "I'm a horrible mother!" when I know that's not true. Or when I feel a little selfish and want to watch some TV like Oprah or Desperate Housewives and Lukas is awake. (I try not to watch TV while he is awake unless I am feeding him so he can't watch.) I also feel guilty that I haven't mailed out birth announcements, I am behind on Thank You cards, I haven't taken as many pictures of Lukas as I have wanted, I haven't posted the pictures that I have on the camera, I haven't figured out what to do about childcare, I haven't returned emails/phone calls, I haven't been cooking much, I haven't been reading much on child development, Lukas hasn't had his tummy time, I forget someone's birthday (which I never used to do...) and the list goes on. I can't seem to move fast enough or there aren't enough hours in the day. It's just overwhelming sometimes. Then, I read that I should be napping and resting to make sure that I can produce enough milk. So I feel guilty when I do nap and guilty when I try to get things done. It's a double-edged sword. I guess it's like a marathon (not that I have ever run one!) in that it doesn't matter how you do on each individual mile, but that you finish. Lukas won't remember the days that I didn't take him to the park, I just have to hope he'll just remember the ones that I do.
I try to plan one activity per day whether it's to go to the pediatrician, go to a class, take Lukas to the park, or run errands. I feel guilty when I am not able to do at least one of those things in a day and I think to myself "I'm a horrible mother!" when I know that's not true. Or when I feel a little selfish and want to watch some TV like Oprah or Desperate Housewives and Lukas is awake. (I try not to watch TV while he is awake unless I am feeding him so he can't watch.) I also feel guilty that I haven't mailed out birth announcements, I am behind on Thank You cards, I haven't taken as many pictures of Lukas as I have wanted, I haven't posted the pictures that I have on the camera, I haven't figured out what to do about childcare, I haven't returned emails/phone calls, I haven't been cooking much, I haven't been reading much on child development, Lukas hasn't had his tummy time, I forget someone's birthday (which I never used to do...) and the list goes on. I can't seem to move fast enough or there aren't enough hours in the day. It's just overwhelming sometimes. Then, I read that I should be napping and resting to make sure that I can produce enough milk. So I feel guilty when I do nap and guilty when I try to get things done. It's a double-edged sword. I guess it's like a marathon (not that I have ever run one!) in that it doesn't matter how you do on each individual mile, but that you finish. Lukas won't remember the days that I didn't take him to the park, I just have to hope he'll just remember the ones that I do.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
So Hot!!!
So we're going through a mini heat wave here in the Bay Area. It's been over 80 degrees for the past 3 days. This is not normal for us and our house has no AC. Poor Lukas is like me in that he doesn't like to be hot. Edwin likes the warm weather- maybe because he's from SoCal. However, the basement has been nice and cool, so we have been enjoying our days down there.
The past few weeks have been a blur. Last Friday, we headed down to Santa Cruz for our first road trip with Lukas. We had a great time since Lukas slept both ways. (Like I said, the boy gets his sleeping habits from his mom.) We attended Tyler's first birthday party last weekend. It was Lukas's first party and I guess he was a little nervous because he pooped while Jamie was holding him. Luckily, Jamie is very experienced with poop, so we didn't feel too bad. I think we had a record of 3 complete outfit changes that day. We also had a nice brunch with Show, Derek, and the Schneiders on Sunday to celebrate their engagement. Our cousins had their twins, Justin and Ashley over Easter, so we're going to visit them this weekend.
A lot of people have been asking me how I am coping being at home with Lukas. I think we're doing pretty well. He likes going out, so I like to take him to run errands or go shopping. When we're at home, he tends to sleep more maybe because there is less to interest him. I definitely do not get bored, but I could see how people might get lonely when there is no one to converse with. I consider it a good day if I am able to do the laundry, return phone calls, or run the dishwasher. I find that I have very little time on the internet now or the ability to use the computer is limited since it requires 2 hands to type. I can read more which is nice. I am definitely not looking forward to going back to work, but I still have 2 more months, so I'll try not to think about it. Alright, I gotta run because I think I'm melting and having a warm laptop on my lap is not helping.
The past few weeks have been a blur. Last Friday, we headed down to Santa Cruz for our first road trip with Lukas. We had a great time since Lukas slept both ways. (Like I said, the boy gets his sleeping habits from his mom.) We attended Tyler's first birthday party last weekend. It was Lukas's first party and I guess he was a little nervous because he pooped while Jamie was holding him. Luckily, Jamie is very experienced with poop, so we didn't feel too bad. I think we had a record of 3 complete outfit changes that day. We also had a nice brunch with Show, Derek, and the Schneiders on Sunday to celebrate their engagement. Our cousins had their twins, Justin and Ashley over Easter, so we're going to visit them this weekend.
A lot of people have been asking me how I am coping being at home with Lukas. I think we're doing pretty well. He likes going out, so I like to take him to run errands or go shopping. When we're at home, he tends to sleep more maybe because there is less to interest him. I definitely do not get bored, but I could see how people might get lonely when there is no one to converse with. I consider it a good day if I am able to do the laundry, return phone calls, or run the dishwasher. I find that I have very little time on the internet now or the ability to use the computer is limited since it requires 2 hands to type. I can read more which is nice. I am definitely not looking forward to going back to work, but I still have 2 more months, so I'll try not to think about it. Alright, I gotta run because I think I'm melting and having a warm laptop on my lap is not helping.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Perfection
As a new mom, I consider myself very lucky. Lukas has continued to sleep quite a bit at night and is still gaining weight, so those long stretches of sleep at night are not affecting his growth. He loves to be outside and does not cry very often. We are absolutely spoiled. So another 3 weeks have passed and I have been remiss in posting photos. We have them. They are just still in the camera. Guess I'll have to post those later.
What have we been up to for these past few weeks? We have had a few out-of town visitors. Bro-in-law Alex came 2 weekends in a row for work. Then, Cousin Esther came in for a few days to visit. Priyanka and her family came for a short visit too. In the past, we used to go to nice restaurants for dinner to catch up with Priyanka and Matt. However, parenthood certainly changes things. We now run to the supermarket to find food for the kids, get them in bed, order take-out or cook, and then make breakfast. Activities are a lot more home-based, especially when there are more than 2 children involved. We're still able to go out since Lukas spends most of his time sleeping, but I see that this is how our future will most likely be. It was still a great time, just different.
Ellen also came for a visit last week and it was a really great timing because Edwin's went back to work last week as well, so she helped me ease into taking care of Lukas by myself. Last Monday, it was just me and Lukas. It was pleasant, but I was nervous. It does take longer to do things by myself. Ellen arrived on Tuesday and we had a great time with her baking banana bread, having a semi-impromptu party, and "meandering" around SF on a lazy Friday afternoon.
I now find myself constantly fighting the clock. You remember that game Perfection? You know, the one where you have to put all the puzzle pieces into their respective spots before time is up. That's how I feel. I have to try and fit things in between Lukas's naps. Shower, breakfast, lunch, chores (laundry, dishes, paying bills, etc.), email, return calls, blog, etc. all have to squeeze in and before Lukas wakes. The difference is that I never know when Lukas is going to wake up whereas in the game Perfection, the time you are allowed is constant. I used to sweat and get stressed out by the game, but I find that with Lukas, it just makes me more efficient. I move faster and watch less TV. I try not to stress out if I'm not able to finish what I'm doing and just figure that I'll do it during my next "break."
I have also found that perfection has changed for me. Perfection is now defined as a fun day out with Lukas and Edwin with no poopy explosions, not getting peed on, a 7-hour stretch of sleep, and a toothless smile from Lukas. Lukas has started giving us his social smile which means that he is now smiling because he wants to, not just because he has gas. We haven't really been able to capture it fully on film yet, but it's really priceless.
What have we been up to for these past few weeks? We have had a few out-of town visitors. Bro-in-law Alex came 2 weekends in a row for work. Then, Cousin Esther came in for a few days to visit. Priyanka and her family came for a short visit too. In the past, we used to go to nice restaurants for dinner to catch up with Priyanka and Matt. However, parenthood certainly changes things. We now run to the supermarket to find food for the kids, get them in bed, order take-out or cook, and then make breakfast. Activities are a lot more home-based, especially when there are more than 2 children involved. We're still able to go out since Lukas spends most of his time sleeping, but I see that this is how our future will most likely be. It was still a great time, just different.
Ellen also came for a visit last week and it was a really great timing because Edwin's went back to work last week as well, so she helped me ease into taking care of Lukas by myself. Last Monday, it was just me and Lukas. It was pleasant, but I was nervous. It does take longer to do things by myself. Ellen arrived on Tuesday and we had a great time with her baking banana bread, having a semi-impromptu party, and "meandering" around SF on a lazy Friday afternoon.
I now find myself constantly fighting the clock. You remember that game Perfection? You know, the one where you have to put all the puzzle pieces into their respective spots before time is up. That's how I feel. I have to try and fit things in between Lukas's naps. Shower, breakfast, lunch, chores (laundry, dishes, paying bills, etc.), email, return calls, blog, etc. all have to squeeze in and before Lukas wakes. The difference is that I never know when Lukas is going to wake up whereas in the game Perfection, the time you are allowed is constant. I used to sweat and get stressed out by the game, but I find that with Lukas, it just makes me more efficient. I move faster and watch less TV. I try not to stress out if I'm not able to finish what I'm doing and just figure that I'll do it during my next "break."
I have also found that perfection has changed for me. Perfection is now defined as a fun day out with Lukas and Edwin with no poopy explosions, not getting peed on, a 7-hour stretch of sleep, and a toothless smile from Lukas. Lukas has started giving us his social smile which means that he is now smiling because he wants to, not just because he has gas. We haven't really been able to capture it fully on film yet, but it's really priceless.
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